Life, the Martial Challenges, and Everything.

Category: Injuries

First Aid

Well, I spent my weekend gaining my Standard First Aid certificate with CPR-C and AED training for school purposes.  It was a 2-day course put on by St. John’s Ambulance, and I had a great instructor.  Having an active certification is a prerequisite to graduate from my program, and also required before I start my fieldwork courses.  All I have to do is submit my proof – a.k.a.  my certificate – in person to the Sport Science Department office and I will be good to go!

It feels good to have current First Aid knowledge, and a great resource book on hand to reference.  Given all of the training that I do, I cannot say for certain which of my teammates are trained as well; knowing that I am relieves a large burden.  My next step is the purchase of a proper First Aid kit and a few other accessories, especially the ever-versatile triangle bandages.

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?
Respect the Technique, Triangle Army

Bugs are assholes

Over the past few years, I have noticed that my reactions to bug bites have grown stronger.  The area around the bite grows splotchy, which tends to hide exactly where I was bitten.  After a week or so, the bite and surrounding area would recede and heal.  I thought it might have been some of my genetics coming to the forefront, my mom generally has the same reaction from bug bites.  But a few of my coworkers mentioned similar growing reactions, leading me to believe it wasn’t just an increase in sensitivity.

And now, over the past couple of weeks, I have sustained multiple bites.  Not only are they itchy and splotchy, but now they’re swelling.  Most recently, a mosquito bit me on my ankle.  Within 24 hours, it looked as though I had rolled my ankle very badly; it swelled a lot, and looked very bruised.  The swelling has gone down a bit, in part thanks to a topical Benadryl treatment, and in part since the excess fluid is moving elsewhere due to gravity.  But it still looks like I snapped a tendon with the size and rich colour of the bruise.

I’ve purchased a bug-repellent in the form of a lotion, allowing me to apply it without losing a lot to the air or inhaling it.  But does anyone get the sense that bugs are becoming bigger assholes?  Maybe it’s the chemicals we’re using to prevent bites from bugs carrying West Nile and other malicious things, or maybe I haven’t put enough points into poison immunity; either way I’m not happy with the reaction my body is having to them.

Anyone have any similar growing concerns?

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?
Respect the Technique, Triangle Army

The third dimensional optics


Remember when it was a pair of paper glasses, one lens red and one blue?  The times have certainly changed, but my frontal lobe has not adapted.  Perhaps my eyesight is part of the problem, or perhaps it’s the sensory overload for my poor optic nerves.  Regardless, 3D movies and I don’t get along so well these days.  I think the way I enjoy a movie has changed over the past several years, the same with my level of caring about spoilers; I feel as though with the quick schedule from theatre to DVD release, it won’t matter in the long run if I don’t see it in theatres.

It certainly is a different vibe and energy level when you watch a new release in theatres with people excited to see the movie, but it doesn’t make or break a movie for me.  Normal “flat” vision is the way for me for the foreseeable future.

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?
Respect the Technique, Triangle Army

P.S. Look, a post not about school!

2014’s Year of the Horse: In Review

Back to the even numbered years, which may seem to follow the convention set down by the Star Trek movies.  (i.e., even is good like Wrath of Khan and First Contact, odd is bad like The Motion(less) Picture).  Not that 2013 was bad, but I’m of firm belief that 2014 was even better.

So, Horse!  I have no witty remarks to make.  Onto the recap!

Wait!  Something about a glue factory?  Nevermind, recap time!

As always, these are just important days, notes, and highlights in my year.

-January: Upon finding a basement suite for an opportune move-in time, I decided it was time to start going through my things and donating clothes that I hadn’t worn in a while … or ever.  I ended filling three garbage bags full of shirts, hoodies, and pants, as well as a bag of items that weren’t accepted for donation.  Despite how much that seems to be, I had a lot more stuff to pack.  I entered a draw put on by B.C. Kimonos for one of their Comp V2 gis, which I won, received, and reviewed.  You can read it here.  I also covered Battlefield Fight League‘s 27th card for MMA Mad House, which featured Toshido MMA’s Matt Dwyer defend his middleweight title against long-time veteran Shonie “Mr. International” Carter.


-February: As hinted, I moved in with my loving girlfriend Keri.  It’s fortunate that our Reading Week is in February, it allowed us to unpack at leisure, as well as for me to finish moving.  I was double-fortunate that our new place is about two blocks away from my old place.  No moving truck for me!  I would like to thank Keri’s parents for helping us with the furniture from her place, it would have been rather difficult otherwise.  To unwind from the move, I competed in the Okanagan Winter Classic, hosted by the CBJJF.  It was held in Vernon again, and I carpooled with my cousin Mike out of RDC.  I competed in Gi at Lightweight, and won Silver, and then in No-Gi at Middleweight, winning Bronze.  I also won my entry fee from an online draw.

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-March: I competed at the Copa Katana III, hosted by Katana BJJ, in Richmond, BC.  I wouldn’t make it out of my first match, falling into a triangle choke.  I would watch teammates and friends compete as the day continued, and live to learn another day.  Our fridge would break down overnight, prompting us to evacuate our food to her parents’ for temporary storage as a replacement came.  Our landlord was quite speedy, we had a fridge on the same day we evacuated the food.  I would cover Battlefield’s 29th card for MMA Mad House, an all amateur card with some great bouts on it.  Summer registration opened up, and I chose Critical Thinking (Philosophy), Academic Writing (English), and Introduction to Psychology I.  Finally, and most importantly, I would celebrate my 1-year anniversary with the love of my life by recreating our first date: skating, and dinner at the Frog Stone Grill.


-April: Keri celebrated a quarter of a century on this planet, and I did what I could to make it memorable.  The Winter semester closed with exams, seeing my GPA improve to 3.11 with an A- in Intro Study of Sport & Leisure and Physical Growth/Motor Development, and an A+ in Performance Analysis: Wrestling and Judo.  I finally found a post secondary institute I was looking for: Victoria University in Melbourne, Australia, which offers the Sport Psychology Bachelors and Masters degrees.  Of course, I would look at half-a-dozen or more places beforehand, looking for my specific program.  Finally, I would take my car in for what I presume to be its final Air Care inspection, where it would pass easily and quickly.

-May: The Summer semester would begin, with my Psych class taking place at the New West campus.  It would take me almost an hour to figure out which lot I was supposed to park in, and let it be known that it pays to ask the lot attendants instead of Student Union members.  We swapped Keri’s tires back to her summer tires, on a day that threatened to rain all day, but somehow held off until after I was done.  I would receive my acceptance letter into the Sports Science program, I guess all it takes is a good GPA to convince them that I’m not a slack-ass.  Finally, I would cover BFL 30 for MMA Mad House, which would see Matt Dwyer defeat ex-UFC vet and heavy-hitter DaMarques Johnson via TKO.  I would also see good ol’ Christian “Stinky” Tremayne lose via decision on the same card.

-June: After a long wait (since Christmas 2013), my highly-anticipated Blue Dream Gi from The Green Gi would finally arrive.  It was truly a dream to try on and roll in, and compete in.  Unfortunately, it would also tear along the right sleeve while I was at the Proving Grounds Qualifier II.  I would place second in the best-of-three format, losing the first round, drawing the second, winning the third, and losing the tie-breaker.  Not shabby for my first international competition.  I would assist longtime friends Stuart and Dani in building some Ikea closet shelves in anticipation of their bun-in-the-oven.  Entering in another free gi contest, I would win a Reign Unlimited gi.  At the end of the month I would travel to Kelowna to stay with my cousin for the CBJJF Western Canadian BJJ Championships in Penticton.  My cousin and my coach would compete in the Kurt Osiander Finisher Series running at the same venue; a cash-prize tournament for brown belts and black belts.  Competing in Gi Lightweight, I would be subjected to a tight rear-naked choke by sometimes-teammate Cam Deleurme, and in No-Gi Middleweight I would earn a 6-4 victory in my first match before succumbing to another rear-naked choke to take Silver.

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-July: First order of business would be the Katana BJJ Roots BJJ Challenge held in Richmond, B.C., yet again in the Gi Lightweight division.  I would be against Graeme Martin, who I went against in the last Katana BJJ event, and I was determined to make it go differently this time.  Well, I was partly successful, attempting a couple of takedown attempts before he pulled guard.  He would chain up several submission attempts before gaining success with another triangle.   Next up was another visit from Professor Cobrinha for a 3-day seminar.  Keri was off on Sunday and able to attend, I managed all three days.  My cousin Mike came down as well.  I attended Battlefield’s 31st card, watching friend and former co-worker Tylor Nicholson secure an exciting win by rear-naked choke.  Keri and I also started fostering a 7-year old Shar Pei cross who was having a very rough go in the shelter.  Her name was Daisy, and we gave her the nickname of River.   I assisted Stuart and Dani once more with closet shelving, this time for bigger units.  Then Keri and I would travel to Alberta for a quick getaway: old family friend Stephanie Jasinoski was getting married.  We took River with us for the weekend, and she seemed to enjoy a country acreage setting, and didn’t mind 12-hour car rides.  The wedding itself was lovely and low-key, a nice gathering of old friends and family.  Finally, I received a new gi from Triangle Athletics: their Brooklyn gi with a rashguard liner, a pre-release offer from my man Desi.

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-August: This month started on a rather sad note, Keri and I made the hard decision to return River to the shelter.  While she opened up to us, she also developed separation anxiety, and coupled with her fear towards other dogs, meant many things set her off.  Her last time alone she barked for two hours straight.  Our lifestyles just aren’t compatible with a dog of her temperament.  If we had more time at home with her – I’m talking several weeks – then we might have been able to change her conditioned responses.  Keri and I gave blood again, but I didn’t get my third-donation keepsake.  I’ll have to ask for that the next time we’re able to donate again.  I had only two final exams: for Psychology and Academic Writing, unfortunately they needed a lot of studying, the most I’ve had to do thus far.  The work paid off, I earned an A- is Philosophy, and a B+ in Psych and Academic Writing, pushing my GPA up to 3.22.  I also covered BFL 32, watching friend and teammate Jeremy Kennedy – freshly returned from Thailand.  We went out to the Langley Animal Protection Society and adopted a little kitten: Helo, a black/grey tabby.  Finally, I made a review for the Brooklyn gi here.

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-September: The fall semester begins with four courses: Reading Fiction, Psych 1200, Intro to Stats, and Motor Skill Acquisition.  The first three satisfy my English and non-Sports Science electives, and the last one constitutes my sole Sport Science course this semester.  I mapped out my requirements to graduate, which helps me keep track of what courses I need to take, and what I want to take.  Our good friends Dani and Stuart wake early to celebrate his birthday, though the early waking was due to Dani starting the labour process.  That same day she gives birth to their son: Oliver Grayson McGillivray.  I guess that makes it easy to remember birthdays for their family.  Finally, Keri and I earned our second stripes in BJJ.IMAG2299

-October: It starts off with a bang as I celebrate my 30th birthday.  Before the celebration can truly occur, I compete in the 3rd annual Vancouver BJJ Championships tournament, in the blue belt lightweight Master’s division.  Our 3-man division saw me lose both matches to claim a bronze, but more importantly it saw the development of a few good techniques and exposed a few subtle holes to patch up.  After the tournament was the birthday celebration, organized by Keri.  I became Triangle Athletics’ newest sponsored athlete, and had a good Skype-call with founder/owner Desi Saran.  The Proving Grounds Invitational tournament was unfortunately cancelled due to a lack of numbers, possibly thanks to the Seattle IBJJF appearance at the end of the month.  Instead Keri and I helped our coach Jason and his wife Vanessa move, which proved to be a fairly speedy affair.  The next day we went to her parents’ house for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and dessert; I was absolutely stuffed.  The aforementioned IBJJF Seattle Open was attended by several of my teammates, and they brought home a few medals and lots of memories.  Finally, I carved a pumpkin for the first time in many years.  For Halloween!Van_BJJ_Oct_2014_TAB_01 Van_BJJ_Oct_2014_TAB_02 Van_BJJ_Oct_2014_TAB_04IMAG2400

-November: We begin with a huge open mat hosted by P.T.T. Chilliwack and Harley Chappell, a mat filled with practitioners from all over British Columbia and many academies.  A couple of promotions, and a couple of great rolls with friends.  Then I registered for the Winter 2015 semester: Human Anatomy & Physiology I, Applied Methods of Creative & Social Dance, Topics in Human Nutrition, and Sociocultural Aspects of Sport, plus tuition paid a week later, far before the deadline.  I attended BFL 33, witnessing friend and former teammate Christian Tremayne win a rematch against Kolton Higgenbottom via KO, and friend Micah Brakefield lose via TKO.  Then our washing machine broke.  You want to talk about first world problems?  Take away your ability to clean your clothes, gis, and bedsheets while cooking or doing homework.  That’s a big problem.  We also put our tree up – yes, it’s early – to allow our cats to acclimate to it.  I bought a custom dentist-fitted grappling mouthguard to ensure the safety of my teeth from local PROtect Custom Mouthguards.  Then I went on a whirlwind of changing flat tires thanks to someone losing a flat box on the road during a busy period.  It is quite fortunate that Keri has winter tires on a different set of rims, because there is a definite bend in the rim that ran over the box.  Keri and I attended Infinity MMA’s Expansion Open House and Gravity BJJ’s Movember Rollathon in the same day, getting some good rolls in.  On the last Sunday, we – along with Coach Jason, Papa T, and Rack Attack – attended a Flavio Almeida seminar at Revolution Langley and learned some great open-guard techniques.   With great sadness, my friend and teammate Cam Deleurme, passed away.  Rest in peace buddy, and thank you for a great match during the summer.63749_742029865876411_1343126915008353693_n 10690333_1591148384438191_6110254537388678050_n 10537413_552205461581781_5684581140694656391_o

-December: With final exams right around the corner, I took a day away from worrying about them with the CBJJF B.C. Provincial BJJ Championships II, where I competed in Gi and No-Gi in the Master’s division, taking silver in No-Gi. We had a large showing, and together will our fellow Alliance school – Walter Buse’s East Van BJJ – placed second on team points.  It is exceptional in the fact that we had fewer competitors than the winning team, which means a lot of medals in weight classes and absolute divisions. Fall semester final grades were posted, and I passed all of my classes (much to my surprise for Stats).  I restored my ability to game with a second-hand Xbox 360 and a new gamertag (PrototypeMMeh if you’re interested in adding me).  We caught a little bug right before Christmas and had to miss all of the Open Mat events; being responsible about other people’s health can be a chore.  Christmas day was spent with longtime friends Stuart and Dani, and their 3-month old Oliver, for some presents (well, for Oliver) and turkey dinner.  Boxing day was spent with Keri’s family, and we went over early as Keri wanted to see the process of preparing the turkey first-hand.20141206_160538 IMG_2512 IMG_2530 20141206_133348 20141206_160423

2014 was a pretty amazing year, and I look forward to making 2015 even better!  What notable events happened to you?  Anything unexpected?  Let me know!

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?
Triangle Army, Respect the Technique.

Signs you’re dating a Martial Artist

  • There are Gis/Doboks/Uniforms/etc. taking up closet space
  • There are Gis/Doboks/Uniforms/etc. hanging in the laundry room drying
  • They are adept at folding their Gi/Dobok/Uniform in a particular way, and feel the strong urge to re-fold if someone else folds it even a hair differently
  • They are home anytime between 8p.m. to 10p.m. on a regular basis
  • Their gear/gym bag is never quite put away
  • They are near-continuously plagued by minor injuries
  • They are sometimes beset by major injuries
  • There’s a good chance they have completely fractured at least one bone
  • There’s a good chance they have hairline fractures on one or more bone
  • There’s a good chance they have at least one bruise on their body at all times
  • They have probably lost count of how many bloody/fat lips they have acquired
  • They have probably lost count of how many bloody/fat lips they have given
  • They have probably lost count of how many times they have rolled their ankle(s)
  • They have probably taped any/all of the following: fingers, toes, knees, ankles, wrists, etc.
  • They know bits and pieces of the language associated with their martial art (i.e., BJJ = Portuguese, Tae Kwon-Do = Korean, etc.)
  • Their gear/gym bag is selected based on how much it can hold for a tournament
  • Their mouth guard is constantly floating in a bowl of denture cleaner
  • They have opinions on multiple brands and styles of mouth guards
  • Their non-martial arts friends don’t often mix with their martial arts friends
  • They probably have a protein shake or three after training
  • They probably have either multiple water bottles, or one giant water bottle.  Or a combination of the two.
  • They will be seen doing some martial art related moves randomly through the house

I’m sure there are more based on specific martial arts and personalities, but those are just a few that I may or may not be guilty of.  Do you have more to add?  Comment below!

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?


I am “New Age” …

Actually, I’m not.  This has been going on for decades around the world.  I’m just the latest to join.


No, I didn’t just learn how to cook, but I did decide to do 90% of the cooking after my girlfriend and I moved in.  I enjoy cooking, prepping the ingredients, and getting the timing down like a finely tuned flow-roll.  It also gives her a bit of a well-deserved break for her last in-class semester as she studies and writes some papers.  My course load is much lighter, and out of the two of us, I currently retain function in my dominant hand.

As I mentioned before, I’m not the first to be the cook, and it’s certainly not new.
Her father cooks.
My younger friend Stuart cooks.
I believe Benevolance cooks.

I do enjoy the feeling of playing my part in stopping a gender stereotype.  But I also enjoy experimenting for someone, trying random things, spicing things up.  When I cook for myself, the food is primarily edible, with flavour being relegated down to a tertiary thing.  When I cook for her, flavour is right up there with being edible.

It helps that we’re shopping for our veggies at Langley Farmer’s Market (we have a location in Maple Ridge), and their prices are much cheaper compared to Save-On or Safeway.  Our meat we’re getting from Meridian Meat Shops, which is a butcher shop with everything very fresh and organic.  I get as much meat for the same price or less, and it is of higher quality.  The selection is greater as well.

I’m open to recipe suggestions as well, I’ve only used one recipe in my cooking thus far.  We do have several cookbooks, including “The Dolce Diet” by Mike Dolce (no, not the cake Dolce de Leche), and I’m sure we’ll try them out soon.  It also helps now that we don’t have to worry about allergens, though I still keep them in the back of my mind.

For now, back to studying for Wednesday’s midterm …

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?

P.S. To further bring notice to hang-drying clothes over a fan, my Gis are dry in a few hours at most, rather than 24-36 hours.  I can wash two or three in the morning, and use them by the early evening.  It’s quite handy.

Flesh kneading

I swear I’m trying to come up with awkward horrible titles …

But!  Massages.

They are nice.  I like them.

The end.

Nah, just kidding.  Well, I do like them, that’s not a lie.  Training and competing in a martial art like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu means I come home with a few knots or tight muscle groups.  You can also throw in the tension in the neck and shoulders that develops from studying and completing assignments for school.  All of that simply means that a massage feels wonderful.  Very wonderful.

The neck, shoulders, and back are the typical areas I get massaged, followed by my hands, my scalp, or my legs.  I get my feet massaged every once in a while, and when I do, it also feels fantastic.  There’s something about the unknown factor of how the masseuse will work out the knots and tension spots that makes it superior.  Sure, when you work out your own knots you know exactly where they are and how much pressure to use, but it’s not the same.

I’m not the only one getting massages, I also give.  There’s something about finding a trouble spot and working it out, listening to the appreciative noises of the person getting the massage.

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with a friend about the lower back and tension it can develop, heated seats, and reflexology.  Then we came to the point that Costco will occasionally have a proper folding massage table on sale.  A massage is great, but being on a proper table with a place for your head is even better, and not making your masseuse stay in awkward positions is a really big bonus.

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?

And in case you can’t tell, I kind of threw this together mostly spur-of-the-moment.


The internet tells me that May 6th was National Nurses Day.  Me being me, I missed it, along with an on-time blog post.

Most of us have had the misfortune of being to a hospital for less joyous things than childbirth.  And even childbirth isn’t free of bad things.  But every trip to the hospital involves nurses, people who don’t get enough due.

Nurses work the holidays, be it Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, everything.
Nurses work 12-hour days.  Long days, especially when Average Joe complains about his 8-hour work day in an office.
Nurses go to school a lot, and have some long unpaid practicums.  I think teachers are on par with this, but I.T. Specialists are not.

I would like to personally thank the nurses I personally know:
-Courtney and Lisa, for answering all of my (annoying) questions about muscles, bones, tendons, ligaments, organs and what happens when you pee blood.

And then the nurses that I have dealt with, but don’t know personally:
-the three at Richmond Hospital for making my first fracture experience less horrible.
-the multiple at Burnaby General and Royal Columbian when they were dealing with my Baachan pre- and post-surgery, as well as answering my mom’s questions.

Next time you’re in a hospital, for whatever reason, buy your nurse a coffee.  Let her (or him) know they’re appreciated and valued.

–Kiyoshi “The Prototpe”
Your #1 Canadian eh?


Saturday March 23rd, friends and allies Jennerosity and Benevolance hosted a themed costume party dubbed “Samurai Night Fever”.  As you might guess, the theme was Japanese.  The bulk of the attendees – hosts included – opted for robes, and made some nice ones on top of that.  However, myself and one other opted for a gi.  I donned a Kamikaze Europe “Fighting Gi” and Ev donned a judo gi and some basic sparring armour from his Taekwondo days.

As we arrived, we drew for a house to gain honour for.  I drew “Tsuru”, with a Crane logo.  Each house had an advantage and disadvantage to it, which could gain additional honour, or gain dishounour.  Over the course of the afternoon and evening there were several competitions to showcase various skills.

The first challenge was the Haiku.  Ev, Jeff and I drew a card each, and whatever word was on each card had to be incorporated into the haiku.  “Axe”, “River” and “Fire” were our chosen words.  After the allotted time was up, we handed them in for Lance to read out loud.  We would vote on which we liked best, but we couldn’t vote for our own.  My haiku was based off personal experience:


Axe kick to my face
A River of blood flows from me
Cauterize with Fire



Next we had the Origami challenge, which I somehow won as well, folding 3 out of the 10 different puzzles.  I managed the butterfly, the 4-pointed star and the boat.  Had I more time I probably could have gone back and completed my first puzzle, though I can’t recall which one I attempted.


Then we had the “Odds and Evens” gambling challenge, where I narrowly squeaked a second-place finish for another honour.  By “narrowly squeaked” I mean I held my last chip to bet until the end, and thus had one more than most of the other gamblers.


Next was Dominion, which was pretty fun, if confusing for one of our participants at first.  Fortunately I was between Gareth and Jeff, the two who have played the game before, so any questions I had were quickly answered.  I lost the challenge, but suffered no dishonour for having fun.


Then came the video games.  We busted out Mario Kart 64 in Battle Mode and Tetris.   I can do the Tetris dance, but I cannot play well enough to compete.  The same goes for Karaoke on Rock Band.  I was randomly assigned a Modest Mouse song, which I then … butchered … horribly.
Unfortunately losing at Karaoke had me suffer dishonour.


That wrapped up the Samurai Night Fever festivities, and my end result was 7 honour and 1 dishonour for House Tsuru.


We tuned into the Hon Basho afterward, to let our teams compete.  Senshu won me $1, and I may change up my team a bit for the next tournament.  Too many injured fighters, and too much singing instead of getting ready for the tournament.


I didn’t consume as much Sake, simply because I had a date planned for Sunday afternoon.  Speaking of which, I need to pick out a couple of “Thank You” cards.


–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
Your #1 Canadian eh?



Injuries Ahoy!

We all get injured in life, it’s a simple fact.  Some of us are injured more often than others, and some heal faster.  I’ve been quite fortunate in my time alive to avoid major injuries, but 2012 gave me a run for my money.  Truthfully it started at the end of November 2011.

Let’s begin!

-November 2011: There’s a First time for Everything.
I attended and participated in the West Coast Combat Championships in Richmond, competing the Gi and No-Gi divisions.  Or so I had planned.  Less than two minutes into my second match, I stuffed my opponent’s bump sweep and fractured my finger between the mat and his back.  I would go on to win the match via rear-naked choke, and then off to the hospital.

-May 2012: Cartilage ain’t worth a damn.
Monday nights at the gym are sparring nights.  We strap on our gear and start practicing what we’ve learned.  I sparred a South-paw – Mark de Souza – who came at me with an overhand left while I was trying to feed him uppercuts.  It caught me square on the nose and instantly bled.  On Wednesday I would be rolling No-Gi with Coach Christiaan and he would jokingly punch me lightly in the nose.  I heard the worse crunching sound as I lost most of the connection between bone and cartilage.
After weeks of searching, I would finally find a clinic willing and able to cauterize my nose, but only after being prescribed a cortisone spray (side effects which included causing the nose to bleed … what?!)

-June 2012: My Tough Mudder is tougher and muddier than your Tough Mudder.
If you haven’t heard of Tough Mudder, it’s an international long-distance obstacle course/run that promotes being a team rather than individual accomplishments and time.  We assembled a team from the gym and attended our local event in Whistler.
Our first obstacle – not counting the six-foot wall we scaled where Christiaan took a boot to his mouth – was a plunge into freezing waters with giant ice chunks, and dyed green, pink, purple or yellow. You had to submerge to make it to the other side.  On my way to the surface, I apparently collided with a giant ice cube.  After pulling the rest of the team out of the water, I shook the water out of my short hair and noticed that some red was coming with it.  Our frozen tub was green.

-July 2012: That thingy actually has a name.  Process, Xihpoid Process.
This one mixed things up a bit: I didn’t bleed!  Instead, with a quick 5-minute sparring round against a heavyweight, I took a great shot to my sternum.  It winded me a bit, but given where he hit, I didn’t think anything of it.  Later as I loaded my gear into my car, I realized it still hurt, and was quite tender at that little nub of cartilage that hangs there.  The only way too heal it was to take it easy for a couple of weeks.

-October 2012: Red red … it rhymes with “wine”
During another sparring session, I pushed some physical boundaries, trying to work my aggressiveness and ring control.  At some point I took a roundhouse kick to the left side of my body.  Didn’t think anything of it at the time, I just reacted and fired off a few shots of my own.  When I got home, I went to the bathroom and received quite a shock at the colour.  You ever drain the fluid out of a can of kidney beans?  Well, it was like that but not as thick.
Funny that I should mention kidney beans, it was my kidney that was damaged from the kick.

-November 2012: In retrospect, that’s a bad way to stall.
I participated in CBJJF’s BC Open II, and should have been able to fight my way to at least a Silver, but in the last 90 seconds of my second match, I tried running out the clock by preventing a take-down.  Big mistake against my opponent who had a number of years of wrestling under his belt.  He managed a HUGE take-down and tried his best at crushing my forearm with his shoulder.  Short story even shorter, he managed to put my right arm virtually out of action without breaking anything.  He did feel bad when he saw me in the sling, but I told him it was my fault for trying to keep our match standing to ride it out.

-December 2012: I dislike cauliflower, understand?
I won’t post a picture of what it looked like before it hardened, because it looked pretty bad, even to someone used to seeing it.  I had the unfortunate luck of getting my right ear crushed while trying to escape a submission.  Over the course of three drainings, I had over 9CC’s of fluid removed and spent two weeks with a gauze-stuffed ear and a tensor-bandage wrapped head.  My ear still isn’t so pretty, but it’s not bulging like it’s about to explode and give birth to an alien.

There are my major injuries to date, not including multiple paintball injuries and other minor everyday stuff.  If I included that, we’d be here until the internet shut down.

–Kiyoshi “The Prototype”
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